Hogwarts: A History
by Kel6
Summary: Will Hogwarts: A History forever gloss over the nastier aspects of the school? Or will this be changed. Pointless R/Hr fluff.


My first go at R/Hr fluff, kind of pathetic and unrealistic actually. Just quite cute. And did I mention pathetic?  
  
Disclaimer: You know who it belongs to, I would hope. Not me, that's for sure!  
  
~*~  
  
The breeze blew the red hair over his face, tickling his nose. For what seemed like the thousandth time that hour he pushed it away, muttering irritably under his breath.  
  
'What was that, Ron?' asked Hermione. Her hair was pulled back, although a few strands had worked their way loose and were dancing about in front of her eyes. She was lying on her front, on the grass, with a large heavy book in front of her.  
  
'Nothing,' he said, hurriedly; there was no need to teach her any more wizarding swear words. Harry was smiling, sitting opposite Ron, he had heard exactly what his friend had muttered. Both boys were sitting with their backs propped against trees, thankful for the shade. Hermione was sitting further into the sun, basking in its heat and reading quietly. Her brown eyes sparkled as she looked at page after page of what seemed to be rather boring rubbish.  
  
'Listen to this bit,' she told the boys. 'Not only do they neglect to mention House Elves, but its also made to sound as though the Professors do the work: "The Goblin rebellions left Hogwarts in a."'  
  
Harry was staring at a bluebird that was sitting in Ron's tree, he found it much more interesting than listening to the lack of House Elves in Hogwarts: A History. It probably was, but Ron could only see it if he strained his neck and not only did that start to hurt after a short time, it also attracted the attention of Hermione.  
  
'Ron,' she said, accusingly. 'Are you listening or not?'  
  
'Of course I am,' he lied.  
  
'Then why are you staring up at the tree?'  
  
'Because. er. because I like to look around, as well as just listening to you read.' She looked at him suspiciously, Ron remembered that look; it was one of McGonagall's favourites. Strangely enough, Hermione managed to pull it off without looking too much like their seventy year old Transfiguration teacher, a notable achievement in Ron's opinion.  
  
'It describes the protections on Hogwarts that were introduced in sixteen hundred,' said Hermione. 'Several of these I know for a fact involve the House Elves and not once are they mentioned, not once!'  
  
'What sort of protection?' asked Ron. Harry gave him a strange look meaning: "you were listening?" Hermione smiled slightly, taking away the look of a desperate woman with a purpose, and showing Ron the pretty teenage girl that she was. It was amazing that it took so little to please her; the idea that one of her friends was listening to her talk.  
  
'Well, Hogwarts has always been Unplottable - the Founders did that, but, until sixteen hundred, anyone could just Floo in, using the fireplaces.' What else did she think they used for Floo? mused Ron, but didn't say anything. 'The House Elves regularly check on the fireplaces to make sure that not just anyone can come in. This book makes it sound as though the Hogwarts staff do that.'  
  
'How did you find out the House Elves do all this stuff?' he asked and Harry gave him another bemused look, apparently the idea of Ron listening to Hermione when she was talking about books was too much for him as he got to his feet.  
  
'I'm going back to the Burrow for a drink, I won't be too long.'  
  
'Bye Harry,' said Hermione. 'How do you think I found out, Ron? I went down to the kitchens and asked them of course.' She sighed, acting as though she was dealing with an idiot.  
  
'Oh, of course,' muttered Ron. She smiled slightly and rolled her eyes affectionately, before continuing to point out the lack of House Elves.  
  
Later that night, when Harry had already gone to bed, Ron slipped downstairs. The Burrow was completely dark and as soon as he'd stumbled down stairs, he lit his wand. He couldn't risk doing it before and he didn't want to do this in daylight, he'd only get laughed at and it was supposed to be a surprise.  
  
All he had to do was write a letter!  
  
He sat down at the kitchen table, pulled out the parchment, quill and ink he had an began:  
  
Dear Sir or Madam,  
  
My friend, Hermione Granger, is an avid reader of Hogwarts: A History, one of the books your company publishes. However, she has discovered that not once in over a thousand pages are House Elves mentioned and, as she cares very much for their rights and well-being, this disappoints her very much.  
  
The House Elves do, of course, help everything at Hogwarts to run smoothly and there are over one hundred of them. They cook our meals, clean our dormitories and generally make life easier for us.  
  
Last year, Hermione started an organisation to try and help the Elves. Called the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare (S.P.E.W.), it was not completely successful, but it did help to raise the awareness of many students at the school. Professor Dumbledore has shown willingness, due to one elf asking, to pay the elves and he treats them well, but still Hermione campaigns for their rights.  
  
I feel that as well as the House Elves, my friend deserves a mention in Hogwarts: A History.  
  
Yours sincerely,  
  
Ron Weasley.  
  
Ron sat back, it had taken several goes, and he still wasn't completely sure it sounded OK, but it was the best he could do.  
  
Pig greeted him rather too enthusiastically and he clamped his hand over the owl's beak, which was rather difficult as Pig was constantly moving. He tied the letter to his owl and told it where to go. With a final, enthusiastic noise, Pig flew round in circles several times and disappeared out of the window.  
  
Ron headed back into the kitchen and cleared away his pen, ink and parchment, doubting that he would ever hear about the letter from anyone.  
  
*  
  
Four months had passed since her summer holiday a the Burrow and Hermione woke up rather late. Looking around at the empty dormitory and the pile of presents at the foot of her bed, she remembered it was Christmas morning.  
  
It was the usual pile of books, she discovered, with a few sweets and some Canary Creams from Fred and George. She'd read most of the books, and owned a copy of several, still, it didn't hurt to have more than one copy in case Ron or Harry borrowed it and forgot to give it back or destroyed it somehow.  
  
There was what seemed to be a large book, wrapped in ordinary brown paper at the bottom of the pile. She picked it up. It was addressed to her, but there was no gift tag or anything. Without thinking of what it might be, she opened it.  
  
Another copy of Hogwarts: A History.  
  
She already had five. But this one looked different, it was newer and had "revised edition" printed on the front. Her eyes widened: this wasn't supposed to go on sale until February! She opened the front cover to see if someone had written a note:  
  
Miss Granger  
  
I received a rather strange owl in August from a friend of yours: Ron Weasley. He reminded me that although Hogwarts: A History has over a thousand pages, House Elves have not been mentioned once. As I was planning a revised edition, I decided to put them in, to make my book more accurate.  
  
He also informed me of S.P.E.W., which I felt deserved a mention. Page 1018, second paragraph to be exact.  
  
Eliana Tripe  
  
Hermione's jaw dropped. She jumped to her feet and ran into the boys' dormitory. They were still asleep but she threw her arms around Ron, who squawked loudly, waking up.  
  
'Argh! Hermione! I can't breathe! What the-!?' Harry sat up and stared at them.  
  
'Ron! I can't believe you wrote to her!' squealed Hermione, not letting go.  
  
'Hermione! Please! You're suffocating me!'  
  
'Get a room you two!' said Seamus, sitting up in his bed. Ron had turned maroon. Hermione took a deep breath and composed herself, and then let go of Ron, finally.  
  
'Look,' she said. She shoved the book into Ron's lap and opened it on the first page to show him the note from the author.  
  
'Oh yeah,' realised Ron. 'I wrote to her, didn't I? What did she say about spew?' Typical of Ron to ruin it by calling it spew. 'I mean S.P.E.W.' he quickly corrected himself and opened the book.  
  
'What's going on?' asked Harry, left out completely.  
  
'Ron wrote to the author of Hogwarts: A History and told her about S.P.E.W. and she put it in the revised edition!' said Hermione, realising that she was squealing again. Harry sighed at what he deemed to be fuss over nothing, and went to open his own presents.  
  
'Listen, Hermione:' said Ron, having located the correct paragraph. '"Hogwarts, as I have previously said is staffed not only by the professors, but by over a hundred House Elves too. This is often forgotten by wizards and witches. One young witch, however, remembered them: Hermione Granger started the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare (S.P.E.W.) so these creatures were recognised. Although not entirely successful, Miss Granger has managed to raise the awareness of many students." Happy now, Hermione? Not going to spend long hours moaning because your beloved elves are left out of your favourite book, are you?'  
  
'Oh Ron,' she said affectionately. 'That was such a wonderful Christmas gift.' She kissed him on the check and dashed out of the room so she didn't have to hear the other boys laughing. 


End file.
